You are so in love but your relationship has just became so toxic! This simply mean leave… Of course it doesn’t sound as easy at it is written.
It is obviously difficult to leave someone you love but that doesn’t mean fights flashbacks night after sleepless nights must continue. At some point you cant understand why your partner won’t change or feel that they ignore how you feel about certain issues in your relationship.
You have put so much effort, done all you could to save your relationship but nothing has worked. That means is time to end it. Stop getting petrified that you might end up being lonely because you will end up loosing your-self than your partner. In this case you need to choose what’s best for you.
This is how difficult it can be:
I was in almost a year relationship with my partner, it was okay to start with, easy to understand what he’s going through and I thought it will change.
We got engaged and planned life together, obviously thinking the situation will change and it never did even a year later.
For the fact that I was engaged with him, letting go was absolutely terrifying me! I’d never thought I will be alone but yet I waa worried about if I will get a partner like him despite all the issues we had in our relationship.
It didn’t matter how I cared, supported him and loved him, It didn’t matter how much he said he couldn’t live without me or how nothing he was without me, which in that case was true but I knew that I had to remove him in my life.
My family was supporting the fact that I’m leaving because I was not happy. Whether or not they supported it, I would still choose to leave. He was not worth it. What I needed it was to find strength to get out of it and move on.
If you are also stuck in a toxic relationship know that you can find strength to let yourself out, learn to let go and move on with your life. There’s nothing best to live happily, be with someone to create best momories with each other than negative flash backs in your mind.
Stop waiting for change
Change will never come if we wait for some other person or some other time. We are the one’s we have been waiting for. We are the change that we seek – Barack Obama
Waiting for someone to change is a biggest mistake one could make. I would say also a waste of time, effort and love. They might promise to change and never do. Change must come from them and not them being forced to change. It doesn’t matter how best you think they can be.
Know your worth
If you know what’s your worth, you will know whether or not they deserve to be with you. Everyone deserve better. If they know they deserve you why they fail to change and make you happy?
It took me a while to realise this…
Look at what you could do better without them than with them. Analyse facts for you to leave than to stay. Sometimes we make mistakes and try hard to find reasons to stay than to leave. It will break you apart…
Before the break-up, it happened that my ex-boyfriend finds himself to be with the wrong person and I’m always the one he could speak to about his concerns. I always came through for him when he needed me. So we spoke about it and planned to both leave toxic relationships and get back with each other. He is one of the reasons I believe you could be happy, there’s someone out there waiting for you!
Accept it won’t be easy
It won’t take a night to decide whether or not you want to leave a relationship. That doesn’t mean you should stay wait to heal or let go. Learn to let go at that point and time before you accept that toxic is fine. The pain might be unbearable but let it go. It is better to let it be part of your life than letting it be your entire life. Get over it, it will hurt and it might take long to heal but eventually it will be over.
Cry it out if you can
Some people use crying as a cure and believe me it works for many of them, even for me. There will be one point where crying will just have to stop, you won’t see a need toccry and see it as a stupid thing you have ever done in your entire life but at least you cried it out.
You will smile again and everything will be over. After all it will be a fresh start for you!
Be in control of your happiness
If you can’t be in control of your life no one else will. Taking back your control it starts with you. I believe that everyone is responsible for their happiness. I know you can get through this and be happy again!
Believe in yourself and know that you deserve better!
By: Fortunate Machaba