The idea of getting married is beautiful, we see with our friends and families. The newlywed bliss is every couple’s dream, but along with the bliss can come with a lot of ups and downs. People get married for different reasons and more even personal ones.
We can all agree that this days wedding bells aren’t ringing as often, lucky for those who can still hear them LOL..
According to Psychology today, love is a primary reason to marry for many people but not most for me. People fall in love and want to spend the rest of their lives with their partners. Other people forget other reasons for concluding the fact that you want to spend the rest of your life with a partner. LOVE can be a huge challenge in this factors….
Here are some common reasons to marry:
Companionship and security: Marriage can bring a sense of stabilizing, working as a team and supporting each other throughout life’s ups and downs, it also has to bring a sense of security both financial and emotional. Some partners often ignore their sense of emotional and financial security and that could lead to marriage ends. In most cases those two factors will be ignored because there is love. Sad truth, women will often be judged for leaving marriages or relationships for emotional and financial issues in and love will be used as an excuse for some who stays. In marriages there’s a need for emotional and financial security.
Children: Many people marry because they want stable partners and have children with, this days, some marry because they have children and want to “create” a stable environment for the kids even when they are not happy. Sad truth, bad/unhappy relationships is the absence of a safe environment for kids learning and growth. Kids deserves a secure and safe environment, people don’t have to force marriage or relationships for the sake of kids.
Social norms: In many cultures, marriage is a social norm and a way of saying you’re an adult, a way that people will be declared as matured and seen as adults only if they get married, not because they love each other or dream of being with each other forever but for social status or peer pressure. Sad truth, people end up marrying wrong people thus first year of most marriages fails. They discover along the way that they are not meant for each other. Most will stay and not bother correct the mistakes, some because of fear of being alone, or see it as an embarrassment to their friends and families, some will leave and look for new beginnings with hope or assurance that good people exist out there.
Religion: For most religious people, people get married because they want to fulfil their spiritual beliefs. Sad truth, this days, priests or ministers get married because of the pressure that they are leaders, they have to do the right thing to fulfil the spiritual beliefs and lead by example, be a light to their followers. They marry to fulfil not for love or other mentioned reasons, they are afraid of being judged or being alone.
Marrying just or only for love could bring a lot of discomforts, pain, emotional drain, trust issues, financial drain, and all others that are toxic for your relationship. Especially when people don’t realise that are not meant/right for each other. Sad truth.
Share your experience, thoughts and opinions…
By: Fortunate Machaba
Mamelodi Happenings 